In my mind this is a tough question to answer honestly. Parenting does not come with instructions. Children do not come with instructions.
Do we measure our parenting accomplishments….. against how others are parenting? Do we measure our parenting accomplishments against how we were raised? Do we measure our parenting accomplishments against the successes or failures of our children?
There are no right or wrong answers to the above questions. They do, however, need to be addressed for the sake of the children. Children are pliable -adaptable- adjusting- accepting- and in need of parental guidance.
There’s a line in the book “The Secret Life of Bees” that reads “the hardest thing to do in life is to choose what matters.” What matters most to children is to feel valued.
Values matter. Values are learned. Ask yourself –What is the value in parenting your kids based how others perceive you are raising them? Or ask yourself –What is the value in raising your kids the way you were raised? Or ask yourself –What is the value in raising your kids based on their successes or failures?
Live your life, raising your children based on your values-not valuables. Choosing what matters to your child and recognizing their value, will give you the answer to “How do I know if I am being a good parent?”