Choices

“Your imagination is the preview to life’s coming attractions.” Albert Einstein
Imagine your child at age 21 as a kind & decent person, a person choosing to conform to accepted standards of moral behavior as an adult and future parent. Imagine establishing a parent plan early on as an opportunity to see a preview of your child’s life as an adult.
Through the power of giving your child choices (beginning as early as 2yrs.) you are living out your imagination and promoting the reality of your child’s coming attractions. Offering choices instead of orders or demands, teaches children to:
• Set reasonable limits.
• Share Control.
• Problem solve/make decisions.
• Be self-confident/experience self-worth.
• Think skillfully.
• Behave responsibly.
Choices based on awareness, approach and acceptance is a preview of the self-worth we will have empowered our children to live with.
CHOICE Desired OUTCOME
“Do you want to wear your hooded sweatshirt or Parka?”
(NOT: Put on your coat!) Protect child from the elements while child learns to make decisions.
“Do you want toast or English muffins?”
(NOT: What do you want to eat?) Child will eat breakfast while learning self-confidence.

“You can pick up your room now or before you go out. You decide?”
NOT: (Clean up your room or else?) Room will be picked up and child learns self-motivation.

“Do you want to have a party for six or have two friends sleep over?”
(NOT: How many kids do you want to invite?) Party is kept to what you feel is reasonable and child learns to set limits.

“When you figure out what you’ll do differently, we can talk about your using the car again.”
(NOT: You’re grounded from using the car.) Take driving seriously and child learns to think skillfully.

“When you choose not to respond to me the first time I ask, you’re telling me ‘what’?”
(NOT: How many times do I have to tell you?) Take cooperative initiative and child learns to share control.

“I’m more upset with your lie than I am with what you’ve done.”
(NOT: Don’t lie to me.) Child feels remorseful and learns to be trustworthy.

“I noticed you voluntarily chose to help your Dad shovel the driveway. Thanks.”
(NOT: I’m proud of you.) Driveway gets shoveled and child learns to experience self-worth.
Be firm, fair and consistent. Implement your coming attractions. Hugs!

 

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