Children who live with patience – defined as the ability to endure waiting, delay, or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset or to persevere calmly when faced with difficulties – learn to endure waiting, delay or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset and to preserver calmly when faced with difficulties.
I’ll bet you didn’t realize you’re children were learning patience while you were living patience. Our kids live with our patience every day. Consider the fact that in the course of raising children we have the ability to endure waiting (doctor’s visits come to mind); we endure delays (getting homework done on time); we endure provocation (sibling rivalries) without getting annoyed or upset – hmmmmm – we may have to rethink this one-but I know we persevere calmly when faced with difficulties. See, in a course of one day, you’ve exercised patience without knowing it. I think it’s time you recognize your patience so you can take credit for having it.
Patience is not about letting our kids get away with any behavior we find unacceptable. Patience is persevering calmly in spite of temper tantrums, backtalk, hitting, spitting, bullying, cursing, and any generally poor behavior. Patience does not include power struggles or egocentric behavior. Patience sets in when we realize that we do not own the above mentioned behaviors. They belong to the perpetrator. Patience does not blame, accuse, excuse, manipulate, judge, evaluate or compare. Patience endures! Patience perseveres! Patience is not gender specific and does not discriminate.
The ability to endure waiting is, probably, the greatest evidence of a patient parent. Waiting for the school bus to pick up and deliver our children; waiting in checkout lanes in the grocery store to see our kids are fed properly; waiting for our kids to get to and from extracurricular activities. See yourself in any of these ‘patient’ driven activities? How you handle your patience is what you are teaching your kids. Patience is a learned virtue. Hugs!